Parents of Miss Teen South Carolina

This is why we should have beauty pagents based on looks, body and ONLY that. This is in reference to my previous post. Still love it and laugh everytime I hear it!!

Freakin' hilarious!! I love the Dad at the end of the clip. Man I wish I was from good ole SC!!

And just so you all know, I am very aware that these are not her real parents and that It is a spoof. Just thought I would clear that up for some of you knuckle heads out there... : ) I am such a good speacher!!

Are you kidding me...

I know that many of you have seen or heard this, but honestly how much sense does this make.

Question:

Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map, why do you think this is?

Answer:

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so, because uh soma people out there in out nation don't have maps and uh I believe that our education like such as in South African and uh the Iraq everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should uh our education over here in the US should help the US umm or should help south Africa and should help The Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

God bless the US and the education system that puts these types of answers forward. Quite possibly the funniest thing that I have ever heard in my Life. Way to go South Carolina...

Losing a bet to oneself

So to go along with my previous post about the Packers and not drinking. I feel that I need a reprieve from the grief I have been getting. As many of you know, I have stopped drinking alcohol from last Sunday night, until our baby arrives. I made a bet with myself that if that Packers lost to the Giants, which was like going all in with AA and getting called by 7 2, that this is what would happen. Well the unthinkable happened, 7 7 2 flop, and here we are but that is not the reason for the post.

I feel that I have been a little silly, and this has been pointed out by numerous friends. How can one make a bet with oneself and then lose??? I never thought too much about it until it was pointed out to me, that I am the only person who they know who has lost a bet to themselves. And the funny thing is, is that I usually only makes these types of bets when am I almost assured of winning. To lose to yourself is just plain ludacris, especially when it is pointed out to someone this way.

"Hey, hey come here a sec. Guess what Matt gave up drinking from now until the baby is born, and no he isnt doing it because Katie cant drink. He is doing it because he lost a bet... And get this, he lost the bet TO HIMSELF!!!" HAHAHAHA

So I come to you dear reader(s) with a dilema. I have always been proud of being a man of my word and doing what I say I am going to do no matter what. But in this case, I find that the only person I am letting down either way is, well, me. So no matter what, I am damned if I do, and damned if I don't. So I come before you wondering drink, or not to drink, that is my question...

Who is the real monkey?

I am starting to wonder about this bet thing. Even the monkeys are enjoying the sweetness of fermented yeast, hops and grapes... not sure who the monkey is anymore.

Another saga begins

A sad day has come upon me. I am sorry to report that the great and mighty Packers have fallen to the Giants. Now this in itself is enough to send me over the edge, however there is more. You see not so long ago back in my younger and cockier days I told my wife that I would quit drinking alcohol when the Packers lost until the day that our baby is born, not that big a deal if you think about it the way that I was thinking about it. I will lay it out for you how it was SUPPOSED to play out in my head.

Packers play wild card winner, Packers Dallas Cowboys, Packer play New England Patriots in Superbowl and win, hence me not giving up anything for any amount of time. Well that is not going to happen now thanks to the stupid New York Giants and there 23-20 overtime win!!

So here is it, almost 6 full weeks from the due date of our first child, and me having given up all alcohol until that day arrives, which leaves me with a problem. You see it is not so much not drinking alcohol that is problematic, it is the fact that the Packers lost and are no longer in the playoffs. If they were still playing I would be in a much better mood this morning and not having a care in the world, but alas it was not meant to be. There is always next year I suppose

Anyway, this post is just a bunch of mumbo jumbo ramblings that don't really make much sense. The point of it was that I have officially given up any and all alcohol from this date forth until my child is born, and on that day, MAN OH MAN you had better be ready because it is ON!!

Au revior sweet nectar of life I will miss you!

Rules are Rules

I was reading the paper this morning over breakfast and coffee, and there it was. An article on cats. You see many of you have said that I am too harsh in my opinions on cats and what should be done with them, however if our great city of Calgary is taking measures and making laws for these vile creatures, then, my dear readers, maybe it is all of you who have it wrong, and thus it is me who has it right. You see the new law that came into effect January 1, 2008 was that you are REQUIRED to have your cat licensed, and not only that you are REQUIRED to restrict them to your own yard or property. So as you can see in the following article, our city also has a problem with these devil creatures.

Read this for clarification

And to the lady in the picture, shut up, do what the city says and stop complaining like a typical crazy cat lady. If not I will come and hunt your cat down. The dawn of the cat hunter is upon us!!! Robert De Niro and Christopher Walken ain't got nothin' on me!!

And if you are still not convinced that cats are evil and do not belong anywhere but on a farm, watch the first 10 minutes of the movie Hostel II and then go ahead and tell me that they are nice furry little creatures that only puuurrrrr, if that doesn't do it then tell me this; what two creatures have evil little slits for eyes... Serpents and cats, and we all know the most famous serpent sure as shit wasn't good and pure.

Remembering the old, then ring in the new

On some advice from a close friend and fellow blogger, I will not be bringing up any debates, Cats, annoyances or anything like that. Instead I will be giving you my list of Top seven things that have happened in the past year, and then officially say goodbye to 2007 and hello to 2008. Now I have many memories and I am sure that I am forgetting some but these are what popped into my head whilst writing.

7. The Rise of the once again great, Green Bay Packers. After 3 dismal years, the Pack are back. With the great Brett Favre at the helm heading into the playoffs as a division winner and top contender. I know this seems shallow, but hey who's list is it, that is right MINE!! GO PACK GO!!

6. Katie getting her diving certification. This has been something that has been on my most favourite things to do list: Dive in as many oceans and on as many reefs as possible before I die. Now That she is certified, I have my permanent buddy and we can go anywhere in the world. I am not only happy be extremely proud of her as I know how hard it was, but now I also see how much she enjoys it and can't wait to do it again, making it highlight worthy!

5. Good Friends, good food and good wine. Much like a friend of mine, I quite enjoy good food, good wine and good company. I have had the pleasure of getting to know and becoming closer with some friends all while enjoying good food and good wine. I count myself lucky to be able to enjoy all three things together and to have the friends who enjoy sharing the same niceties throughout the year. I can only assume and hope that 2008 will being more of the same memories.

4. Going back to Michigan, and for two reasons. It was great to see the family one last time before we have the baby. They were all excited and got to see the belly that is growing more and more each day. And also to have my first hunting experience. Again I could go into it in detail but I have already and all you need to do is read this post, Virginity Lost In Michigan, and VIOLA there you have it, my day as a hunter!

3. Taking a family trip with everyone to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic. My Parents were kind enough to take the whole fam down to the DR for a week just after Christmas. Being able to spend time with the entire family in an exotic place is not something that happens everyday and will be remembered forever. Thanks Mom and Dad!

2. A pregnancy announcement from the parents to be. We are expecting a new little life into our family in the near future. After many years of not being sure if I wanted kids or not, we came to a mutual decision after our trip down under that we would like to see if we were able to have a family. Although the trying time was not as long as I would have liked, we were blessed with a quick, and thus far very good, pregnancy. I am excited beyond words about becoming a dad and hope that everything in the next little while continues to go smoothly.

1. Taking our Second honeymoon trip. We were able to travel around Australia for 5 weeks in February and March. I don't have enough time or space in the post to even get into it. But it wasn't only a highlight of this year, but one of the top highlights of my life. Spending 5 weeks with the love of my life doing everything together and experiencing new things together is something to be cherished. I will always remember this as an extreme high in my life. If you want to read more, go to these posts on my blog. Start of the trip and the finish of the trip

So for those of you who made this year a pretty damn good year, I say thank you! I hope that 2008 brings more of the same. And I am thankful for good friends, conversation, food, wine, travel and most of all my wife. Thanks 2007, and Welcome 2008!