Canadian inventiveness and what it means

SO we(Canadians) have invented the following and many more: Insulin, the telephone, the light bulb, the Canada arm (used by NASA), wonder bra, standard time, hockey, basketball, lacrosse, the zipper, the Robertson screw ( and yes it kicks ass on the Philips people), ski doo, blackberry,walkie talkie, instant replay, hockey, lacrosse, basketball, self propelled combine, plexi glass... the list goes on and on. Now the reason that I am writing about this, is I was having thoughts back to my days at Calvin College and the constant questions that came up in the debate between Canada and the states was always what has Canada done for the states, beside suckle at the mother teat. Well if you are able to read and have some sort of educational background (grade 3 will do) then you can clearly see that some of the greatest and most cultural changing inventions have come from our great nation. Now I am not saying that the U.S has not held up its end of the bargain by any means, their list is very extensive as well.

I only wish to point out that we have, and continue to contribute to our society and are not just suckling at the mother teat, while going by the name of "America Lite". That is not only an insult in that we are our own country (who relies on the states yes) but more so that "America lite" is clearly making reference to Miller lite beer... I shouldn't have to say this, but as a country who prides itself on the fact that we can drink like no other, while not drinking horse piss (American beer) we take extreme offense to being compared to a beer that is not only considered to be shit here, but it is also shit in the states.

So to end I will say that I love the states and most things about it, but I also love my home country of Canada and most things here as well. But I really REALLY get sick of being compared to a shit beer and being swept aside as though we dont contribute to the world like the states do. So say what you want but there you have it!!

Still waiting... All the while noticing...

So we are still waiting for the arrival of our little one, and people are starting to ask when we are going to get induced and all that jazz, well we are still 11 days away so I am thinking that it is not going to be anytime soon. So while I have been waiting for this event to take place, I have been really aware of other parents, kids and things in general that pertains to raising children. It was during this last week that I heard a 911 call on the radio (Jim Rome show) that stuck with me and struck me as funny, sorry, REALLY FUNNY and yet sad (somewhat) at the same time, here it goes

A woman called 911 when she arrived home one day to find her 12 year old and 10 year old fighting, not just any fighting, but really going at it a la Layla Ali in the ring. So she comes home and immediately calls 911 to request some help/backup. She is talking with the man on the other end and tells him that her 12 year old has kicked a hole in the wall and they are still fighting uncontrollably. This is where it gets funny, or at least to me it does. The dispatcher then calmly and matter of fact states "OK, do you want us to come over and shoot her?" this is followed by and extremely awkward pause on the mothers end, which is ended when she completely berates him and ask him for his name and tells him that this is not funny, blah blah blah. Now for those of you who think that I am sick for thinking that this is freakin' hilarious hear me out and then judge away.

First of all this mother of two young girls is not able to control her our daughters and has to call 911 for help, when she calls the dispatcher sees it how I see it "What the hell does this woman expect from me, parenting lessons???" and thus replies with one of the funniest and wittiest line in the history of 911 calls. "Do you want us to shoot her?" HILARIOUS!!! If you cant see the humor and brilliance in that then I suggest you re-read this until you find it funny, or better yet find the sound byte and listen to it. The reason why i find it sad, is that this mother can not control two little girls, 10 and 12 years of age, yet when she hears the mockery in the dispatchers response she goes on full attack and gives it to him. If she was able to handle her own kids the way that she handled the "shoot her" comment I am sure this call would have never been placed in the first place. Honestly what did this woman expect from this poor guy. it is called 911 emergency for a reason, it isn't called 911 super nanny, 911 parenting hot line, or best of all 911 Dr. Phil. If you need to call the emergency number of 911 for a sibling fight, well then in my opinion that speaks volumes to your parenting skills.

Before you all jump on me about the fact that I don't have kids, and you just wait and see, and kids aren't as easy as they look... Tell me this have any of you ever EVER called 911 because your kids were having a fight? I think not. So in the end the hilarity of the call and situation completely overrides the sad parenting skills part, which just leaves this "OK, do you want us to come over and shoot her?"

Final Weeks for to milestones

Here I am, entering into the final weeks of the pregnancy. There still is a lot to do and we don't have a crib, but I have been told by many that a dresser drawer will suffice just fine when it comes to the nocturnal habits of this baby species that we are about to have enter into this world. So the room is almost done except for the fact that I have to put up some trim, paint the top color, put up the crib (whenever E-children decides we are ready to have it), put the car seat in the car, pack a bag, have my final "Holy shit I am gonna be a dad" moment and finally put plastic sheets on our bed... just kidding about the last part. So really all in all we fell unprepared and kind of betrayed by our friends, all of whom told us, that 6 months would be plenty of time and how we would be ready when the time comes. So to all you back stabbers... THANKS!! Seriously though, I do feel somewhat ready and prepared, or as ready and prepared as I can be. I am very excited and just ready to meet the little guy/girl and see what He/She looks like and decide on a name, but more to the point, I am excited that when the baby is born, I get to break my vow of dry living and drink a beautiful little pinot noir that I picked up the other day. Having not had the taste of alcohol for the past 4 weeks has been surprisingly easy, I found it harder to give up coffee for a month than I have not drinking alcohol for the past month. I guess there are two ways to look at this, one is glad to know that I am not an alcoholic or have alcoholic tendencies, and then other is that it sucks to be the place where I usually buy my booze as business must have suffered.

So dear readers I come to you on this fine Saturday morning, a morning in which most of the snow here is melted as a result of our 14ºC/57ºF day yesterday, looking forward to two things that are nearing on my horizon. The upcoming birth of my first child and the upcoming "first" sip of fine wine with "da wife" after 6 weeks for me and a long 9 months for her. I have yet to decide which will be more monumental... NOT!! (little tribute to Borat there folks) For those of you out there please pray that we are blessed with a healthy child and that momma will do well. Thanks and CIAO for now!!

Funniest family guy clip ever

I am posting this because I have been a bit addicted to Family guy as of late and thought that you should all take a look at this clip.

If any of you watch "family Guy" then you have already seen this, but for those of you who haven't, well this makes me laugh every time I see it. freakin' hilarious!

Parents of Miss Teen South Carolina

This is why we should have beauty pagents based on looks, body and ONLY that. This is in reference to my previous post. Still love it and laugh everytime I hear it!!

Freakin' hilarious!! I love the Dad at the end of the clip. Man I wish I was from good ole SC!!

And just so you all know, I am very aware that these are not her real parents and that It is a spoof. Just thought I would clear that up for some of you knuckle heads out there... : ) I am such a good speacher!!

Are you kidding me...

I know that many of you have seen or heard this, but honestly how much sense does this make.

Question:

Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can't locate the U.S. on a world map, why do you think this is?

Answer:

I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so, because uh soma people out there in out nation don't have maps and uh I believe that our education like such as in South African and uh the Iraq everywhere like such as, and I believe that they should uh our education over here in the US should help the US umm or should help south Africa and should help The Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our children.

God bless the US and the education system that puts these types of answers forward. Quite possibly the funniest thing that I have ever heard in my Life. Way to go South Carolina...

Losing a bet to oneself

So to go along with my previous post about the Packers and not drinking. I feel that I need a reprieve from the grief I have been getting. As many of you know, I have stopped drinking alcohol from last Sunday night, until our baby arrives. I made a bet with myself that if that Packers lost to the Giants, which was like going all in with AA and getting called by 7 2, that this is what would happen. Well the unthinkable happened, 7 7 2 flop, and here we are but that is not the reason for the post.

I feel that I have been a little silly, and this has been pointed out by numerous friends. How can one make a bet with oneself and then lose??? I never thought too much about it until it was pointed out to me, that I am the only person who they know who has lost a bet to themselves. And the funny thing is, is that I usually only makes these types of bets when am I almost assured of winning. To lose to yourself is just plain ludacris, especially when it is pointed out to someone this way.

"Hey, hey come here a sec. Guess what Matt gave up drinking from now until the baby is born, and no he isnt doing it because Katie cant drink. He is doing it because he lost a bet... And get this, he lost the bet TO HIMSELF!!!" HAHAHAHA

So I come to you dear reader(s) with a dilema. I have always been proud of being a man of my word and doing what I say I am going to do no matter what. But in this case, I find that the only person I am letting down either way is, well, me. So no matter what, I am damned if I do, and damned if I don't. So I come before you wondering drink, or not to drink, that is my question...