Thursday, July 5, 2007

Classic


The story of a sweet and innocent blackberry: By Matthew James Weening

I started my life in a nice factory where i was put together on an assembly line by nice people.
Nice people put me in very comfortable packaging and sent me to the store
I was a new blackberry, the small compact type,
One day a nice young man comes in and decides to purchase me for a hefty sum of $600.00
I think, when someone spends that kind of money on a phone they will take care of it.
I am treated well for the first little while, downloading games, emailing and Pining
Then one day when my owner drops me, I think ouch but no big deal
I am dropped more and more frequently as the days turn into months
I started to feel like the red headed step child
Finally the last straw, I am dropped, yet again and this time I land on his Steel toed boot

CRACK!!!

There goes my nice plasma screen, but I think that will get replaced asap
Boy was I wrong, I look like this for two months and almost have had it with this guy
Today was the last straw, i was being used as a flashlight and had my chance so I took it
I jumped out of his hand and into a sump pump hole full of water, ah glorious freedom from this cruel world!
As I am dying i hear a tirade of four letter words and expletives galore through the muffled water and sump pump sounds
To top it all off, this final act in my life was performed in front of the grand daddy of audiences.
The BOSS, BIG CHEESE, HEAD HONCHO, or CLARENCE as we like to call him was their to witness my glorious end!

SO good bye cruel world, and thanks for the memories

3 comments:

Alex said...

Psst.. the new blackberry is even awesomer. Check it biatch!

Anonymous said...

$600? At least that was most likely Canadian $$ so it was only really like $400.

Triplet Mom said...

Are you going to get the new iPhone now?