Friday, August 7, 2009
9th Letter of the Alphabet, Letter I
Yea, it looks like a "J" but it's not. It's "I" and it would kick your ass for calling it a "J". I asked self proclaimed Capitalist "I" to write a little piece about itself and this is what it came back with: (He was a little late, cause he said he was "Bizzy wit Nizzy", whatever that means)
"Schaaper, funny thing you doing a bit on the alphabet. Let me tell you something. I am the best letter in the alphabet, I stand tall. I stand firm. I am the best at working out, and thus I have this rockin slim body, and the womin love me, they love everything about me. I am also one of the only letters that can be used as a single letter, and the reason why I'm better than "A" is cause, when you use me as a single letter word, I'm always CAPITALIZED. So SUCK it "A". Funny story, "E" once tried to make a move to be used as a single letter word, heh, we all laughed our latin asses off, cause the only place he was able to make it work was friggen Old MacDonald Had a Farm, E I E I O!!! Way to go "E" good on ya.. fricken donk, stay out of the single letter word business. Um, the favorite use of me, besides of course single letter words, (which really is the meaning of my existence btw) is probably "In". Long story there, but "N" and I are.. ahem.. so.. how bout those Flames?"
Anyway... In the Sublimative Alphabetative, the letter "I" stands for "Idiot". A words which really does not require any definition, as you would probably be one if you didn't know what it was. BUT it is interesting to know that the official meaning of the word: (from dictionary.com)
A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.
[Middle English, ignorant person, from Old French idiote, from Latin idiōta, from Greek idiōtēs, private person, layman, from idios, own, private.]
The way I have used the word in the past:
"I told Joylaine she looked paunchy when she was pregnant.. I am such an IDIOT"