The great debate

First things first, Merry Christmas, and an early Happy new Year!!

On a previous post of mine a certain "Rob" whom I don't think that I know, posted a comment about the debate over Metric vs. Imperial (or US standard as he liked to call it) systems of measurements. Well I am here to clear up the debate, Metric is the winner hands down. Now I don't know if Rob was just pointing something out or trying to make a point, but he got me thinking about this, which led to a post.

I know both systems and I use both systems everyday. I am used to inches and feet and things like that, I lived in the states so I understand miles and Fahrenheit, it is not that I don't get it but that if you think about it, imperial makes no sense what so ever. Now before all you Americans hate on me remember that this is only my opinion, as well as the opinion of the the world... seeing as only Liberia and Burma (AKA Myanmar)are the only remaining non-metric countries

Metric makes way more sense and is way easier to use and remember than imperial, you see everything is divisible by 10. All you have to do it know the order in which things go to make it all work, and it is the same right through from solids, to lengths to liquids and so on a so forth. You see everything starts at 0 and is divisible by 10. Let me give you an example or how easy it is, and if you don't believe me just check out this website for yourself. http://www.worldwidemetric.com/metcal.htm

1 kilometer is 1000 meters, 1000 meters is 100000 centimeters, 100000 centimeters is 1000000 millimeters. Now on the flip side of the imperial try this on for size. 1 mile is 1760 yards, 1760 yards is 5280 feet, 5280 feet is 63360 inches. Now unless you are a math major there is no way that you will always remember that, and if you do, then tell me how many feet are in 23.5 miles? there are 124080 and you all needed a calculator and also had to remember how many feet are in a mile. But if you asked how many meters are in 23.5 km that is done in my head in an instant 23500 with no calculator. Now you take any type of measurement that you want, area, volume or weight and it will always be the same as it is always divisible by 10.

And then there is the great debate over Celsius vs. Fahrenheit. The only thing that I have to say about that is that things start at zero, not 32. If you have $32 in your bank you aren't broke, but if you have $0 in your bank you are broke. Likewise with temperature. "Man it is below freezing it is like 28º" just doesn't make sense. You cant be positive something and still be below freezing. Take waters freezing point and boiling point In Celsius it is 0º and 100º respectively, while in Fahrenheit is it 32º and 212º respectively. what the heck does 32 and 212 mean and how were those number decided upon. Now I could go into that, but I am afraid that I have bored you enough already so I will just give you a web site to visit about Mr Fahrenheit and all his craziness about multiplying by 7 1/2 and 15/16 etc. http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a891215.html

So I think that it is pretty clear that metric and Celsius make more sense and are the way to go, but if you are still not convinced, just ask anyone who works for a large manufacturer, mill working shop, hospital, or is from a country other than The USA, Liberia and Burma, and they will all tell you that metric is not going anywhere and is the way of the future as it is the world standard. So you had better get used to and and quit sniveling about how imperial and Fahrenheit are the best. Any questions, I didn't think so, I win you lose get used to it!

Tower of Babel, the bad side!

Okay, I know that most of you are going to think that I am a being a bit prejudice and need to learn to have tolerance, however, here I go.

I was at work the other day, and I was going to meet one of my employees to go over a job that I needed him to do. It was a simple job that was going to take a day. Nothing major or anything that should cause problems... I should know better!

We had done a job in the summer of removing and insulating and then re-pouring a 2600 square foot concrete pad. Now before you all ask, no we aren't in the concrete business and we used subs. So here we were prepping the pad with insulation, as it was going to have a walk in freezer on it, re bar and gravel, standard for around these parts. Well the job went well and we were done in 3 days. The freezer went up no problem and we were ready to get paid. or so we thought.

It is number months later and we are still waiting for final payment, and not just a little amount, enough to make a grown man cry! So I go over there to find out what is going on and it turns out that there is a crack where the old concrete and the new concrete meet. NO WAY, CRACKED CONCRETE AT A JOINT.... as you can tell I reek with sarcasm! concrete is going to crack and when you take it from one temp to another in a Short time it is just going to crack sooner!

Anyway to make a long story short, the company that we are doing the work for is Chinese, not a problem. However, these particular Chinese are a problem. You see I took my man down there to fix the "crack" so that we could get paid, and all I got was the run around. Here is what happened in a condensed form.

(Chinese owners) We are not ready for you, come back on Monday.
(Matthew ) We will come back, but you need to pay us the money that you owe us after we are done.
(a bunch of angry Chinese and gestures towards me and my guy)
Can we do part of the work now?
(a bunch of angry Chinese and gestures towards me and my guy)
We need to complete the work so that we can get paid
(a bunch of angry Chinese and gestures towards me and my guy)
Can we come back Monday, do the work and then get paid?
(a bunch of angry Chinese and gestures towards me and my guy)
For the love of everything holy and pure answer my questions...

and so on and so forth. Now you can see what my problem was. I do not know Chinese nor do I pretend to know it. I was talking with these clients in the only language that was common to both of us and out of the blue and for most of the time I was left wondering what the heck was being talked about. Here is where I have the problem, you are dealing with me in a business setting, I am not at your door asking for money or a donations. We did work for you and you owe us money, and we are in bed together in the business sense, so SPEAK THE COMMON GROUND LANGUAGE!!! not speak English because we are in Canada, but speak the language that is common to both parties.

After dealing with this for 2 hours, I had enough and told them to speak to me so that I could understand them. 3-4 of them were talking in front of me in Chinese like I wasn't there. Enough is enough. I finally told them that we were coming Monday and that they needed to talk to me so that I could understand what was being said. I know that they were talking badly about me, and that is okay, but have the balls to say it to my face!! Different languages are good, but when you use your language to your advantage on purpose, well then you are in the wrong in my opinion especially when you know that the opposing party cant understand a word that is being said and the conversation involves them. I wish that I was able to speak another language at that point just to make them feel as angry and frustrated as I was!

One final word that I have, is to bite me if you think that I am being harsh, prejudice or anything of the sort. You deal with what I had to and then come and talk to me!

What the HECK happened!! you know who you are!!

So I want to name names, but unless it is mine then I have decided to leave people to their anonymity. However, I really want to hang a couple of people out to dry for something that I was promised and never came to fruition. Let me lay it out for you, and those of you who I am talking about, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

I have a problem with cats, yes yes I know that it might be an obsession, but also just in general I have a problem with cats. So anyway as you have all read I have a little thing going with these devil creatures in my neighbourhood, ranging from a pulled hamstring to me throwing all the cat shit into the neighbours yard (don't worry it is the cat owner's yard!) So I was with some friends awhile back and the topic of Satan's pets came up. We all got to talking and after a few bottles of wine and a some beer, we came up with a great idea for these creatures of the depths! When we were gone to Grand Rapids for American Thanksgiving, two individuals would take it upon themselves to rid me of my problem(s). It was all planned to perfections, the covert operation was going to take place while I was out of town and therefore wouldn't be liable for the deaths that were about to occur... PERFECT!!!

How it was going to happen was late at night two "friends" were going to use all their skill in tracking, guerrilla warfare, sniper ability, and last but definitely the most important BLOW GUN SKILLS!! You see I have been shot with a dummy dart from the end of a blow gun, and all I can say is D@#MN does it hurt. You put a lethal dart in there and "Bye bye kitty Kat". We left and thought that the plan would go into effect and thought that it had, that was until the last snow fall.




You see when we returned home, there were no real signs of the local pests, "great, they are dead at last" I thought to myself. Then the truth started to reveal itself. After the latest snow fall, when I retrieved our morning paper, there they were taunting me... foot prints, and not just any prints but those of a demonic cat! I decided to investigate a little more to make sure that it was cat prints for sure and it lead me right to a little dirt mound that reeked of cat!!! I couldn't believe it my "friends" had let me down, there had been no killing field in the middle of the night, there had been no stuck cat crawling under some tree to die a slow and painful death, there had been no.... you get the point.

So to those of you out there, and you know who you are, I relinquish my friendship and ask that you never speak to me or of this again. I left my heart wide open and it was broken and left for dead with a little spittle on it. The sad thing is that the joke was on me and not on the cats. It wasn't the cats that died, but a little part of me died that fateful morning when I went to get the paper... I will forgive but the heart wont forget, a cat hater scorned is, well a cat hater scorned.

Cats 3 Me 2

to be continued....

Incompetence at its very worst

Okay, what is it with drivers in Calgary. I swear we have some, if not the most incompetent drivers in the world!! I was driving on crowchild yesterday and everyone around me spontaneously decided that it would be a good idea to completely and totally ignore the speed limit. Now normally I would be fine with this as long as they are ignoring it to exceed the posted limit, however this was not the case. Everyone started to slow down to around 60km/hour now if it was slick and people were sliding out of control... GET 4 wheel drive and don't make it my problem. The speed limit signs don't say "80km except in rain snow or any inclement weather", they simply say Maximum - which interestingly enough is used because it has the same meaning in french and English, but I digress - 80km. So take your skirt off and drive the speed limit, we do live in Calgary and have had snow before you should know how to drive in it!!



So now I am going 60km when I should be going 90km at least. As I look around I begin to notice something, and believe me when I say that this is not meant to be sexist, but 80% of these drivers were women. So to all you women out there, please tell me why this happens and what makes it necessary to go 60 in an 80 zone.

When I was finally able to get near my destination, the same thing was happening. I was driving down 26th ave and everyone was going 35-40km. Now for those of you who have driven this road before you will know this to be true. For some reason people treat the entire length of 26th ave as a playground/school zone. I have checked and to my knowledge there are only 3 school zones and 1 playground zone on this street, so it baffles me that it is treated like the whole bloomin' thing is a 30km/hour zone. Now just to prove that I am not a sexist pig, this time 90% of these drivers were over the age of 70 and mostly men. Now I don't have a problem with the elderly, on the contrary, but I do have a problem with people who are too old to drive the speed limit, or for that matter see the signs for the speed limit. Once you pass the age of 70, I believe that you should have to be re-tested for your license every year MINIMUM.

So to end this rant, all I want and ask for, is for the people in our great city of Calgary to take a moment to realize that the gas is the one on the right, and please stop riding your brakes and drive the speed limit or faster. People who don't are the cause of accidents, Speed doesn't kill, incompetent and slow drivers kill!! And for all who don't agree, feel free to comment all you want as long as you realize I am right and you are wrong.

CIAO!!

Virginity and innocence lost in Michigan

Alright, I understand that it has been a long time since I have written anything in here. But that is because I didn't have anything to write that was worthy (not that anything is really I suppose) and I also didn't have any time. So that being said here we go.

I was Down in the states for thanksgiving visiting with my in-laws. It has been a year since we have been there so we were looking forward to the trip. The entire trip was great and we had a wonderful time, but there is one day in particular that will stick out in my mind for a long time, November 24 2007, the day I lost my virginity - or almost.

I am not a hunter, never have been and probably never will be. The only hunting I have ever done was when we went pheasant hunting in 2002, even then the birds are placed and you go with a trained dog who finds the birds for you. I did this with my father-in-law and my two brother-in-laws which was a blast. So even when I went hunting, I didn't REALLY go hunting. Well on Saturday November 24 2007, it was decided that we (the same fore mentioned foursome and one extra) would head down to Marcellus Michigan to go "Hunt us some deers"

We got to the field where we would set up the push, two shooters would sit at one end of a piece of land while the other three walked through the creeks, dead fall and Fields to stir up any deer. This all sounded like a great idea 3 people pushing some deers into 2 shooters set up for the kill. I made sure that I was wearing the most orange in the group at this point and went to get my gun. "No gun for you Matt" my father-in-law coolly stated, "The fine is huge down here, plus you're Canadian." Now things start to change, first off I don't hunt, second off, I am walking towards 2 people that do and third I am the only bastard dumb enough to be walking in a field during hunting season in Michigan with only a stick. We were off.

After walking the creek and dead fall, Pops, tag along and myself start to "push" the final Field. We make sure to zig zag so that no deer are missed and we move at an equal rate around 50 yards apart. Well I am having a good time, thinking about life, walking through head high brush and carrying my trusty stick... BAM BAM BAM BAM, four loud shots echo through my head, entering one ear and exiting the other in a split second. "Am I dead" I think to myself, and more important "Did I just shit myself..." Before I can figure that out, I am on the ground deep in prayer to God that I just make it out alive as I hear BAM BAM BAM BAM, four more shots from another directions. "Damn they are sniping me from all sides." After I felt it was safe to emerge, I check myself for wounds "Head, Chest, Balls yup still there" okay we are good to go. I raise my arms and show my orange and ask what just happened, and that I think I had just soiled myself not once, but twice in a matter of seconds. It turns out that a big Buck had been scared right behind me and one of the shooters took four shots and missed, and then another deer was spotted and was being shot at by another shooter whom also missed - boy I was thankful for my big bad stick and the fact that I had soiled myself for no deer...

After the we meet up and chatted, I calmly asked that no one please shot me and that I didn't think I would make a nice head mount anyway as Canadians in Michigan aren't that uncommon. The final push of that day was through a little forest and field again. This time I was given a real gun, a 12 gauge double barrel shotgun (using slugs for ammo), "Damn, just like the movies" I thought. As I was walking a little ways in, I happened to spot a deer, it was just sitting there under some dead fall staring at me. Well this is where I make my in-laws, well lets just say they wouldn't call it my proudest moment. As I stared at the deer I suddenly remember what I was there to do, "ME HUNTER ARRGHHH" yet what really happened was the following conversation.

"kent, kent KENT!!! I see a deer... what do I do?"

"SHOOT IT!!!"

"What do you mean by shoot it??"

"I mean hold up your gun and shoot it"

"Like kill it shoot it?? but it is lying down"

"Then make it get up and shoot it"

"Like kill it shoot it, or make it run shoot it?

"Like put the meat on your table shoot it"

"But it is just lying there staring at me"

"Would you just shoot it!!!"

"To scare it..."

then deer then got up and started to run, all the while thinking to itself "pussy, I cant believe I was just laying there and he wouldn't shoot" Well I did shoot, only it was more in the general direction then actually at the deer. But I did scare it towards the other shooters, who calmly exclaimed as the deer neared "Its only a little doe..." Ahhh the humiliation, but at least I had more than a stick to throw at it this time.

So that is my first actual hunting experience in the wild where the animals aren't just sitting there waiting to be shot... AHH CRAP! In the end, I shat myself twice, thought I was shot twice, checked my body for holes and organs twice, got to hold two different sticks to feel like a man and shot in the directions (north I believe) of a deer. For me a very eventful hunt, but for a Michigander... well I will leave that for you all to decide.

First real images and first kick

Well this past Thursday was quite the day. It started out, well shitty, on all accounts but would prove to end wonderfully. Work has, and continues to be stressful right now as we have so much work, and so few qualified employees to complete the work. So like always I was putting out fires and making promises that I still had to figure out how to do, and carrying on like that until about 12:30 when I went home to pick up Katie and head to our 19 week ultra sound. Well after a brief wait, I was allowed to go in the room ans see the little one for the first time since it was a "yolk sac" at 6 weeks. Well it is now a fully formed little baby that has arms legs and perfect little toes and fingers. Everything looks fine and t he baby is growing and healthy. It was extremely active and was making it hard for the tech to get the shots of the spine needed. So Katie had to get up a couple of times and get the little one to move around. We watched for 15-20 minutes or so. During it, it was moving a ton and very active, flailing its arms and legs this way and that. smiling, yawning and just active. I thought that I was all over the anatomy part of it, when the lady told me that we were looking at the heart, I thought we were looking at the head. turns out I have no idea when it comes to this stuff. Then we did the 4-D and saw it "punch" Katie, and then have a huge smile or yawn. It sort of looks like an alien, but still you can make out all the features, the lips, eyes, ears, nose, and according to the tech a "Strong jaw line" from its father. At least it has my jaw line and not my big ears (I hope). So that made my day better.





Later that night as we lay in bed, the baby was kicking Katie like crazy, but only enough to feel it on the inside. Then all of a sudden she could feel it on her belly. We laid there poking, prodding and eventually scolding (more me that Katie) the baby into kicking me when I had my hand on her belly. It was such a cool moment. First you have seen the baby inside so you know it is there, but then to feel it kick you and move around it such a different feeling. There is a baby in there, that is a part of me and is mine (that we know of so far).

So at the end of the day, work is important, but it is just work and nothing compared to the ultra sound and feeling my baby kick for the first time. As we say in the industry, "It's been one helluva day"

Respect, or lack thereof

So my question that arises today pertains again to the cats, but also to those of you who smoke. Now we all know how I feel about cats and people who don't have control over them and let them run wild to shit and piss all over your flowers beds and gardens, which is really bad for pregnant women I might add. So we have that lack of respect covered. The other lack of respect that I am going to talk about today is that of certain smokers. Now before all you smokers get your g-string panties in a bunch, sit down, shut up and read the entire post.

As many of you know, I take great pride in having a nice looking yard and garden, free of weeds, most quack grass and any other non-natural items. So when I come home to see that I have cigarette butts strew about in front of my house on the sidewalk and street, as well as in my lawn I get to wondering what is wrong with my friends who do smoke. So I do what most people would do, I pick up the butts to discard them. When I take a closer look, I see that all the butts are John Players and not du MAURIER like all our friends smoke. Okay, so now it is one of my red neck, wife beatin, tobaca chewin' neighbours. The people to my south are the disrespectful cat owners, so they cant be the ones who would double disrespect me. So that leaves my northerly neighbours. I know that the woman doesn't smoke, and I have a feeling that the guy does. Now if you have read my past posts about cats and the crazy lengths I go to rid myself of something once I have my mind made up, it will come as no surprise that I began trying to catch my neighbour in the act. So I hide behind our couch, I shimmy up beside the tree, I crouch behind a rose bush, but much to my chagrin nothing, zero, zip NADA!! He knows that I am watching him as he finds ways to mock me with those cigarette butts.





Then it happens, one day as I am in the shower I look out and see him in the act. He is smoking and getting ready to get on his bike and ride off. As he takes the last few drags from his cig, he calmly and casually glances around to make sure no one is looking, then strides in front of our house, and with a quick glance at our windows flicks the butts, buckles his helmet and rides away. Well the steam in the shower isn't from the water anymore, if Katie hadn't calmed my once famous, or rather infamous temper, my neighbour would have see a blur of nakedness and roundhouses all at once. But since Katie has made me a better and more calm man, I only jumped out of the shower and ran to the window to yell at the SOB, tracking water everywhere in the house as I did so. By the time I go the window open and began to yell, he was half way down the street on his crotch rocket appearing to look back at me with the kind of grin that makes you cringe and wish you had a full hand of fresh cow pie!


Since I couldn't get to the guy fast enough, I did what I thought was the next best thing. I quickly dressed, went outside and proceeded to pick up every butt that I could find in the area. Then I took all the butts and placed them on his front step in a nice pile. Now some of you may think that this is childish and stupid, but I ask you how many people would thoughtfully and purposefully dispose of their cigarette butts in the same manner as my neighbour. If any of you say yes, then I have a full hand of fresh cow pie for ya, so come and see me!!

So anyway, where was I, oh yeah the pile of butts on his front step. Well he must have gotten the picture because I have not seen a butt in front of our house since, and if I did, well you read the whole thing COW PIE FOR ALL!! And if any of you smokers out there are still offended, well tough, I will get you some wine to go with that cheese. And to all of you smokers out there that do the right thing and dispose of the butts in the proper way, thanks and quit smoking it will kill you : )

For a quick update, I have recently placed a live trap with tuna out to catch my Nemesis to no avail. If anyone has any suggestions as to who to catch this little black and white devil, I am all ears! But keep in mind that Katie will not let me kill them. And for your viewing pleasure I give you our crazy block cat lady.

READ, ENJOY, POST!